Older people are particularly vulnerable during the winter as cold weather increases their risk of illnesses, such as colds , coughs , flu , heart attacks , strokes , breathing problems and hypothermia a dangerous fall in body temperature. Look out for signs of serious illness, such as drowsiness, slurred speech and the person not complaining of feeling cold even in a bitterly cold room. Read about ways to keep warm and well. If you're worried, ask if there's a relative or close friend you can phone, or call their doctor or NHS Read about 10 winter illnesses that are triggered or worsened by cold weather.
If you suspect your parents are lonely, read the When They Get Older website's loneliness guide. Mind's guide on how to cope with loneliness has advice on how to help someone you know who's lonely. Read about how volunteering is good for your health. Page last reviewed: 27 September Next review due: 27 September Loneliness in the elderly: how to help - Moodzone Secondary navigation Common problems I feel really down I'm so stressed I feel anxious and panicky I often feel angry I think I have the winter blues I'm worried someone is depressed I'm worried my child might be depressed I think I'm having panic attacks Mood self assessment.
Low mood and depression How to feel happier Beating the winter blues Tips for coping with depression Exercise for depression Mental health issues if you're gay, lesbian or bisexual Raising low self-esteem Going to work after mental health issues Student mental health.
Here, four people who forged new connections explain how they did it. I have been happy to see my friends move through these huge life. 'I have no idea how to make friends' – how loneliness can affect your . I do find myself feeling low and depressed, trying to figure out what's.
Anxiety in children Dealing with panic attacks 10 ways to fight your fears. Breathing exercise for stress 10 stress busters Easy time-management tips Coping with exam stress Coping with money worries Student stress Tips on surviving exams Bullying at work. How to control your anger Tips on child anger. Different types of therapy Benefits of talking therapy Mental health helplines Self-help therapies Can I get free therapy or counselling?
Depression support groups. Learn about the 5 steps Mindfulness for mental wellbeing Connect for mental wellbeing Get active for mental wellbeing Give for mental wellbeing Learn for mental wellbeing. Liking yourself before going off in search of friends is an important step to building healthy relationships.
Join a language class if you love languages or volunteer outdoors if you love nature. Remember, nothing ventured, nothing gained. Once you have taken the first step and are moving on to meeting outside the initial environment where you made a connection, chose a neutral public space.
Our social structures function differently, too. I believe that every one of us needs a cottage somewhere, up on a misty moor, filled with people we trust. When I experienced loneliness I read self-help books, wrote in journals and mapped out my issues on pieces of paper to give them a visual perspective. Treat yourself kindly. On Bumble, a dating site started by an ex-Tinder employee, users can turn on BumbleBFF, a setting that lets them find friends in the same way they find dates — swiping on pictures and short profiles. It's a lack of emotional sustenance, the physical pleasure of being in the company of someone who cares about you. Were there parents lonely people?
This can lessen the pressures that, say, hosting at home can bring, and give you time to focus on each other. A good listener is rare these days. It is the best passport you could possibly have to friendship. A common mistake is expecting too much from one person. It is more realistic and healthier to have a variety of friends for different reasons. This article contains affiliate links, which means we may earn a small commission if a reader clicks through and makes a purchase.
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Do you think you have what it takes to be a good friend? Situational Obstacles. Do you live in an area where it is particularly difficult to connect with others? This might include living someplace rural where there are few people or, because of a history of frequent moves, being someplace where you feel like an outsider. Unfortunately, because of stigma, people shun individuals with mental or physical disabilities. Is there something about you that others find grating? Are you needy? Too pushy? Too talkative?
Too controlling? Are you fiercely independent—wanting to call all the shots regarding what, when and where? Sometimes, there is something off-putting about a person's behavior and that individual lacks awareness of the problem. Communication Style. Do you respond to your friends' overtures as well as initiate contact? Are you available online or by phone, depending on your friend's preferred mode of communication?
Time Management Problems. Do you have a hard time juggling all the responsibilities and demands placed on you? Do you consider making time for friends selfish or frivolous? Unrealistic expectations. Have you led your friends to believe that you will always do the organizing? Do you have an unrealistic, romanticized notion of friendship? Do you expect all friendships to be perfect and last forever? Talking to an objective third party is a good way to gain insight into something you can't figure out about yourself.
It doesn't necessarily have to be a therapist; it could be a spouse, sibling , or someone else you trust. Since you are already in therapy , perhaps this list will provide a useful starting point to explore various possibilities with your therapist.
I agree that something is amiss given the scenario you have described and your desire for more reciprocal friendships. You are not alone. I am the same way except I know I have trust issues. I know I am introverted. I will cut off a person if I feel they are being manipulative or not truthful. I am caring and giving and feel that people will try to manipulate things out of you because of niceness. This has been a recurring issue with me. I also wonder if I have personality issues that may contribute. I have been refered to as a snob when some first meet me but if I continually intiate then I'm a pest.
I hate small talk too! I dont have the energy to deal with other people's emotions. I also feel people are untrustworthy and manipulative. I feel they are only out for themselves. I feel the same way. I'd love to have interesting, kind, supportive friends who want a two way relationship. Instead, I find people usually want to use you in some way. I've had people hold a 20 minute monologue towards me and then leave without asking me anything about how I have been doing. In fact, this isn't that unusual at all.
If people are going to just drain you, why bother? Gosh, I have done this in the past myself.
Gone on and on about my personal problems. I have no close family or friends and the other person never opened up. I did make sure that I gave them things in return for putting up with me, however they never use to say "Thank you" and it did occur to me that they only put up with my going on and on, on more than several occasions because they were trying to manipulate me for money.
They came out with a comment basically asking for money and I responded in a practical way, so they did not get what they were after. I hoped that they would give me practical suggestions but instead they listened and listened. I know that I did try to balance things out. Then they would contemptously smile when something bad had happened to me, which can be a sign someone has a mental health disorder and it made me uneasy so I stopped talking to them. I am like you too I don't like small talk and wondered why it was so important so I read up about it. It is to gauge what sort of mood someone is in.
I have no real friends. People try to take advantage of me too, and something I read made sense to me on a page about depression. I was trying to help people on this page. They said "people pleasers" get taken advantage of more. I learned from that and when someone said that they enjoyed freeloading not just being frugal that was the last straw for me. They had contempt for my white anglo saxon ethniticity and came out with a nasty comment under their breath just prior to me shouting them a meal.
I made a semi-joke about the nasty comment because I don't like an unpleasant atmosphere but then decided I did not want to see them in person again and have cut off contact. They have since missed out on various things and I don't regret it. Another friend when I went back to my home country wanted to charge me rent for the week I stayed with her and her flatmates but I did not pay up because I did not think it was fair to say this at the end of my stay.
I would never do that to her, but I would say in a nice way "you need to buy your own food, because we probably have different taste". At university too, I found people were nice and made suggestions like one said let's go out but when it came down to the crunch she only said it because I think she was hoping to learn from what I was doing right.
I was a very good student. Another I spent at least a couple of hours helping her learn calculations and she did not keep her end of the bargain. I was also severely bullied at work so that left me in my shell not being able to trust people at work. I generally find the people who smile the most, to be the most manipulative. They know how to use social skills to get what they want. Note I said generally, because there are some kind people that tend to smile alot too. I think the thing with me is I don't like being the centre of attention so I don't create fun, but I do know where to visit beautiful places so that first ex-friend I mentioned has now lucked out.
I cannot agree more with you and Amanda, there is so much truth in this comments and I'm sorry but as I was reading the reply to Amanda I couldn't stop feeling misunderstood still. Pity this tread is so old since I would love to find people that actually understand these feelings. And I don't do small talk, : I feel is pointless. Angelica, this story resonates with me as well.
I too hate small talk! It's painfully awkward and I can't ever seem to get beyond that stage with most people. If you actually gave two shits for anyone other than yourselves than you'd care about "friends" small talk! Small talk, since you antisocial faggots have no clue about shit, is how you break the ice and get to know people an get to big talk, once you get through the small chit-chat shit you'd learn a lot about that person and they about YOU!
It's kind like that e expletive-ridden pep talk a coach would be giving his team during a technical timeout called after a streak gone awry If what I just wrote makes any sense. Wow, sounds like you must have a lot of friends. Clearly you have anger issues and enjoy putting others down. I can't imagine any sane, well adjusted human putting up with your nonsense for any length of time. When they go high, you go low. How sad for an adult. Please change your attitude and tone about life or it will not only be miserable for those you attack, but also for your own conscience when you look back.
See the header.
You don't need to attack people. Not everyone has been brought up with kind parents teaching them various things about the world. Your post is very acidic. Resent people very much? That states more about you and your intelligence or should one say "lack of intelligence" than it does about the other people posting here. Is this your way of "breaking the ice? I already know more about you than I want to know just by the way you express yourself. You sound a "little less than friendly. You're not worth the time of day. I can totally relate. When I read the response, it was like the psych didn't fully read her post.
Does she respond to her friend's overtures and also take time to initiate? Hello, she just said she's the one always having to initiate and that her friend's make no overtures. I also really don't appreciate how the responder is putting all the responsibility on the woman asking for advice. It takes two people to maintain a friendship- not one! I have the exact same problem. I am a very caring, giving person. The problem is I tend to draw in very selfish, narcissistic people.
They want everything 'their way or the highway,' and they often don't give a crap about my feelings or needs. It's a pattern that has played out over and over. They all do it. Btw, I also hate small talk. I prefer to find out who a person really is: what they value, what inspires them, their hopes, dreams, fears. I like pondering bigger questions and having conversations of depth and substance. Sadly, it seems most people do not.
They prefer to live in the shallow facade. I with we could all connect on Facebook or something. Maybe one of us can create a group and post the name here. Just found this post and read the comments, this is exactly what happens to me all the time. I feel incredibly hurt by this people. I don't think the author ignored what the letter writer said, I think she was expanding the list to be more comprehensive for all her blog readers.
It's a public, not private response after all. That is smart what you are doing. Figuring out their values, what inspires them etc. Maybe you are too kind and are reluctant to say "no" to people. I have this problem but I guess you possibly and I can temper this with "no but maybe another day" for instance. I am like you I like learning so I do get into deep topics quickly.
I like intelligent conversation and have gained a wealth of knowledge to help me converse a bit easier, because I use to be painfully shy not knowing what to say to others. I don't know if anyone will actually read this. But I'm glad I'm not alone. I thought certain people were my friends, but in the end they weren't and they really only cared about themselves.
It is so hard to get motivated to "get out there" and try to "find" friends. I got to the point in my life where it's exhausting and I got tired of getting my feelings hurt. Kelly, just wanted to share that I am also glad I am not alone. Not sure if you will see this either but feel the need to share. You know the genuine will do anything for you, "we have history together" friends. I felt like I did the best to befriends people that have come into my life like neighbors who have moved in etc.
I am lamenting it for myself and worried for my son. Guess I am also saddened that my husband is the same way and hardly has any friends. So while other couples have friends from one or the other I feel i do not get that benefit. Whats worse is I feel like this affects my son. Now days its not just have a friend to talk to its the connections that also benefit your life with opportunities that I feel like he might miss, like I did when I was young and my parents didn't have alot of friends. Its seems like friends nowdays are not genuine and will be friends when it fits into their schedule.
Like I just don't see Facebook as a great way to develop friends.